Caveman Jack's Self-cleaning Oven

Author: amabaie

Caveman Jack`s Self-cleaning Oven 16th March 2006 Author: amabaie
Caveman Jack`s Self-cleaning Oven
By David Leonhardt

We live in a self-cleaning oven. Not literally, of course. We
would burn up if we did. Those things get really HOT!

In fact, self-cleaning ovens get so hot that they burn orange
juice to a crisp. They get so hot that they melt thermometers.
The produce enough hot air to replace the entire American Senate,
the British Parliament and the Canadian PMO put together.
Unfortunately, certain trade barriers and constitutional clauses
impede the replacement of deadwood political assemblies by
modern, efficient self-cleaning ovens.

The self-cleaning oven is part of the "oven" genus of machines.
Households these days also boast a microwave oven, a toaster, a
toaster oven, a waffle maker, a bread maker, a popcorn cooker, an
auto-shut kettle and several other specialty "ovens". The
combined hot air form all these cooking machines could turn any
ordinary home into an instant Parliament.

Like the self-cleaning oven, everything is automated these days.
It makes life so easy. In fact, the machines could almost run
the world without us. Almost.

The ovens practically clean themselves. My great, great, great
uncle, Caveman Jack, had to clean his oven with a stick. The
hardest part was trying to figure out which rock was the oven.

Automated doors at the grocery store open and close even when
nobody walks through...except for those few that still function
properly.

Lights turn on an off on their own, as long as there is somebody
there to applaud, which brings me to question the self-esteem of
lighting fixtures.

Lint gets caught in the lint trap. Caveman Jack had to trap his
own lint, but then somebody invented the clothes dryer, and
people have not had to hunt for lint ever since.

Planes fly on autopilot these days. Gone are the days when
Caveman Jack had to pedal over a cliff to take flight. Now
pilots can sit back, sip a drink and snooze while airplanes fly
themselves. Word is that Al Qaeda has developed a self-hijacking
plane, but they can`t seem to develop a customer base.

Television remote controls, officially called "doodadders", have
made legs virtually redundant, except for bathroom breaks. In
Caveman Jack`s days, they had to get up off their rocks to change
the channels. If Caveman Jack had had a doodadder, he might
still be sitting on his rock praying that somebody will soon
invent a bathroom.

To be frank, I think the Office of Modern Conveniences has
misguided priorities. My oven doesn`t need cleaning all that
badly. But my office does. And so does my kitchen. And my
laundry room. And my bathroom. Why doesn`t somebody invent a
self cleaning bathroom?

Oops. I forgot. Somebody did invent a self-cleaning bathroom.
On our honeymoon in Rome, we used the bathroom in a Roman Metro
station. As soon as we left the bathroom the automatic door shut
and the bathroom was rinsed from sprinklers all around.

Did I mention that Caveman Jack was a sugar sculptor? He carved
lovely sculptures of rocks out of sugar. What if one day, while
riding the Roman Metro to a sugar sculpture showing, Caveman Jack
suddenly had to rush to the washroom?

Leaving the washroom, he remembers his prize sculpture entitled
"Rock" sitting on the bathroom floor. Too late. The automatic
doors close. The water flushes the bathroom clean.

Later that day at the sugar sculpture exhibit, everyone gathers
`round and marvels at the latest offering by Caveman Jack:
"Little Rock".

Caveman Jack is probably happy that he doesn`t have a self-
cleaning oven. Too much convenience is not always good for the
soul. Besides, there`s nothing like an open fire to cook a juicy
mammoth steak.

Saaaay...how about a self-cleaning fire pit?


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

David Leonhardt is a freelance writer: He is author of:
Inspiration & Motivation To Go:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php
The Get Happy Workbook:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-work-book.html
and Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum
happiness:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html
To write your website copy, newsletter or anything else, email
him at: info@...


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: (in HTML)

David Leonhardt is a freelance writer: He is author of Inspiration & Motivation To Go and
Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness
, as well as The Get Happy Workbook. To write your website
copy, newsletter or award winning biodegradable cereal box copy,
just email him.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

David Leonhardt
The Happy Guy
Info@...
http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.php

Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_36751_15.html

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How to Secure Tailormade Honeymoon Packages for Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora, and Exotic Destinations

By: Chris Robertson

If you're dreaming of an exotic honeymoon, it may be just around the corner! Today, it's easier than ever to secure tailormade honeymoon packages for Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora, and other alluring destinations. There are so many easy-to-use Web resources for booking trips and packages that your dream honeymoon might be at your fingertips.

Securing Honeymoon Packages is Now Easier and More Affordable

Many newlywed couples settle for the same old vacation they are accustomed to -traveling only several hours from home to a family beach home or a nearby mountainous resort. Perhaps they're not savvy with booking flights, scheduling a prolonged vacation, or even finding honeymoon resources or concierge services for honeymoon packages. But nowadays, the Internet has changed all this.

Couples are finding that it's not as difficult as they thought to book a flight, secure hotel reservations and even line up a car rental at an exotic honeymoon destination. Tailormade honeymoon packages for Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora, and other fabulous places are readily available online and are more affordable than ever.

What is a Dream Honeymoon?

A dream honeymoon is just as it sounds - a honeymoon of your dreams! Where have you always wanted to go? Do you want the "norm," or do you want a honeymoon to remember? Dream honeymoons are vacations where there is total relaxation and enjoyment. During a Tahiti honeymoon, for instance, you can enjoy visiting one of the most romantic places in the world. Beautiful islands such as Moorea and Bora Bora offer tranquility, gorgeous weather, luxury resorts, spas, glistening sandy beaches, seclusion, and much more!

Using Online Honeymoon Resources

You can easily find the honeymoon package of your dream by searching online through the search engines or by visiting a dependable honeymoon travel site that offers helpful concierge services. Many honeymoon packages include hotel reservations, flight bookings, and a host of other helpful services or resources to make your honeymoon planning as simple as possible.

Tailormade honeymoon packages for places such as Tahiti, Moorea and Bora Bora are offered on the Web in a variety of ways to fit your schedule and budget. Whether you want a six-night honeymoon or a 10-night honeymoon, you can choose which is right for you.

Some websites also provide a honeymoon registry where your family and friends can share in your honeymoon expenses as their wedding gift to you. Eliminate honeymoon worries, and let an expert help you secure the honeymoon of your dreams.

Chris Robertson is an author of Majon International, one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing companies on the web. Learn more about Tips - Honeymoon Packages in Tahiti or Majon's Travel directory.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Robertson

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